


She Deserved at Least That

by Sailor_Mercury



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-20
Updated: 2015-08-20
Packaged: 2018-04-16 05:29:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4612983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sailor_Mercury/pseuds/Sailor_Mercury
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"All he kept remembering were the three things she had said. It's ok. I love you. And I'm sorry."</p>
            </blockquote>





	She Deserved at Least That

It all happened so slowly, as if the whole universe had slowed down ten notches. He saw the creature behind her, its hands at the ready. He knew that she knew it was behind her the instant their eyes locked. He opened his mouth to scream, to say something, anything, but nothing came out. Not a sound. His voice was gone, caught somewhere in the depths of his throat. He felt frozen in place as he watched, helplessly and horrified. He wanted to run, to protect her, to save her, God he would do anything to save her at that moment. But he knew he couldn't. He could merely watch on the sidelines.

He heard Kira scream her name and he dimly acknowledged that Scott was running to her, but it was too late. He knew Scott would never get to her in time. And from the look on her face, so did she. As much as he wanted to look away, to tear his eyes from the inevitable fate to follow that would haunt his dreams for months, maybe years, he couldn't. Her eyes were locked on his and he refused to be a coward and turn away.

He saw as it raised its arms, and everything happened in slow motion. He looked at her, eye to eye across the pavement that separated them. She stood there unmoving, she didn't even flinch. She just looked straight back at him. He saw emotions and memories flicker across her eyes like a flash. Then her lips moved.

I'm sorry.

And at that moment, he knew what she'd done. She knew she was going to die tonight. She came here, knowing her fate and she didn't even warn him, she didn't warn anybody. She was a banshee, of course she knew she was going to die. And she had, for some unbelievably fucking stupid reason, accepted it. Then she did the strangest thing that made his stomach churn, she smiled. Here she was in her last moments, and she had the will to smile at him. And he felt sick because only Lydia Martin could be seconds away from dying and show the heroic ability to accept it all with a small, graceful smile. His eyes flickered up to the tear that began to run down her cheek and he looked back to her eyes one last time before the creature knocked her straight on the temple with such power that her neck immediately snapped to the side and she fell to the ground.

He heard someone scream, but he wasn't really sure who. His world was filled with static. His vision was blurred by tears. He didn't even know it was possible to produce tears that quickly. He saw as Scott tackled the creature in the background but he was mainly focused on her tiny limp frame, laying unmoving on the hard asphalt. He felt like the monster had hit his chest instead of her head, and that his heart had exploded and he felt the overwhelming urge to throw up. But then he saw it.

She moved.

It was just her hand, just a tiny twitch, but it was enough to get him to run faster than he'd ever ran before. He sprinted across the pavement, nearly tripping twice as his legs pumped even faster than when Peter had attacked her. He felt a mix between a scream and a sob of her name choke its way out of his throat as he ran to her, kneeling by her body. He heard a low grumble from her body and he choked out another sob as more tears began to blur his vision and he shook his head in pure defeat.

He did the only thing he could do. He gently picked her head up and placed it on his lap as soft as possible. He ran his hand through her strawberry blonde hair and he almost cried out again when her eyes opened up. He saw her striking green eyes and he felt something ripple down his heart and throughout his body as he continued to shake his head. He knew she couldn't hold out for much longer, and it felt like a cruel joke. He didn't know what was worse, watching her die from a distance, or holding her as the light drained out of her eyes, but he didn't have much of a choice now. He felt his stomach knot up again as she smiled up at him.

"Stiles," she murmured, reaching her hand up and placing it on his. At that moment, he just wanted to yell, to scream and curse at the world, but he held it all in. He wanted to be strong for her. Because she deserved at least that. "Stiles..." she murmured again, her voice a bit stronger and her eyes a bit wider.

"Lyds, it's gonna be ok," he whispered quietly, brushing her hair out of her face and cradling her face gently. "You're gonna be ok." He felt his heart twist with every single word because they both knew it was a lie. He just had to tell himself this wasn't real. It was the only way he could keep it together.

"Stiles, listen to me," she croaked, her voice wavering and he finally glanced up at her eyes. They were big and pleading and he really couldn't deny her because they were in this situation. So he merely nodded. "I knew." She whispered, her eyes widening again as she looked up at him. "I knew Stiles. But it's... it's okay." She was still whispering when she looked up at him again with that damn smile on her face again.

"How can this be okay?" He cried softly, holding her body tightly, his hand clutching hers. She was so limp and frail in his arms and he felt like this was all a cruel and twisted nightmare. This couldn't be real, no. But sure enough, her hand held his lightly and she reached the other up and placed a palm on his cheek, looking straight into his eyes.

"Because... it will be. Okay?" He could literally see the life draining out of her and he's never wanted to hide more than that moment. "Don't worry Stiles," she whispered, her eyes closing for a few seconds before slowly opening up again. He looked down at her, feeling utterly helpless and crushed. He saw it in her eyes, pure acceptance. And he felt fucking horrible and broken and just sick. Because nobody could fix this. All he could do was hold her as the life poured out of her and her eyes closed forever. She deserved at least that much.

"Before I go... I just wanted you to know... I love you Stiles." She whispered. And he couldn't hold it in as sob after sob choked its way out and the tears fell and he clutched her hand for some sort of support as he felt pure anger overwhelm his body and flood his veins. "I know you used to love me once, too, and I'm sorry I never realized that but please promise me you'll be happy, okay? Please?" Stiles had never felt like the punchline in such a cruel, cruel joke before. It was like the whole world was trying to laugh at him.

"Lydia, no," Stiles said, watching her carefully as her eyes drifted shut again before slowly opening again. He wiped all the tears out of his vision and looked her dead in the eye. "Lydia I still love you. I swear, I so. And I will always love you, until I take my very last breath. That, I can promise," he said. She smiled up at him sweetly and he took that moment to take her in once again. Her pink, plump lips were beginning to pale. Her strawberry hair seemed limp. But her eyes, and her smile... they were still her. And he looked at her and he felt his heart swell just a tiny bit as he took in her tear-stained cheeks and the soft curve of her lips and her forgiving eyes. He even memorized the way her eyelashes were damp and clung together with tears.

"I know that," she croaked, and he knew it wouldn't be long and he felt his heart just break and shatter. He didn't know it was possible to feel this heartbroken. He didn't know this level of pain even existed. But it did, and he felt every ounce of it. "That's why I'm sorry," she whispered, a raspy and light laugh barely escaping her lips. "But I have to go." She stared up at him, her eyes staying closed just a little bit longer now. "I have to," she said, opening them back up to look at him.

And he finally smiled back at her. He pursed his lips into a thin line and nodded as the tears came back and he ran a hand through her hair one last time. "I love you Lydia Martin." He put every bit of emotion he could into it. She deserved at least that. He took this moment to remember the way his heart, as shattered as it was, speed up and nearly skipped a beat as she looked at him.

"I love you too Stiles Stilinski," her voice wasn't even a whisper, it was lower than that, but he heard it, and he lifted her tiny body up to his lips as he pressed a kiss to her forehead.

And then she was gone. He knew it the second her hand went limp and her eyes fluttered shut and his whole body felt numb, not just his heart. Everything hurt. And he looked down at the first girl he ever loved and he finally felt the raw pain of his throat and the intense sting on the back of his eyes.

He laid her down gently and just sat there, staring at her limp, unmoving, dead body. And he shut his eyes. There was never a time more than this that he wished he could just go back and change everything. He wished he could go back to the very moment it all began and stop all of it from happening. He just wanted to take it all back.

And he couldn't.

So the tears fell again and he kept his eyes shut, even as he heard Kira's soft cries and he felt both Scott and Malia sit beside him. He just couldn't believe it. It felt so real and so fake at the same time. She was gone. Forever. And there was no way to get her back. He'd never see her laugh again. They'd never fight like a married couple again. He would never kiss her again as long as he lived, because she was gone.

All he kept remembering were the three things she had said. It's ok. I love you. And I'm sorry.

He refused to look at her. He knew she was still laying on the pavement, but he couldn't do it. It might have been selfish but he wanted to hold onto that last memory of her. Even as she was dying in his arms, Lydia Martin was still the most beautiful girl he had ever and would ever see. And if there was one thing he would make sure of, it was that he'd keep that last promise he made to her, no matter what, because she deserved at least that.


End file.
